Life Balance

Since my life run with my 2nd career. I’m (again) trapped in worker life. I tought working in multinational company will bring myself into a stable system. Which is not so takes my self much into it. 

It is a good experience that ‘you are push to bring out all of your effort to show how much you can contribute in this company’.

I’m not kind of worker who just sit behind the desk, but also seeing outside for new opportunity in bussiness. Laptop as best partner, accepting lot of business calling, presentation, etc. But in the middle of building self through career, in the all of sudden, I feel that I’m lost my life balance. 

In simple way, I’m remember that my last wishes in last 6 months is ‘I wish i could finish to read one book in one day. And it just happen last month. An old book “Fatimah Chen-chen-1990”. I feel so great can doing that. Enjoy the silent moment, enjoy to open the book page, re-run the story on my head is a piece of happiness.

How do you think about life balance?. 

I believe there’ll be no perfect life. Fully following our needed. Life is a choice or compromize with the choice. But, i do believe life balance is one of my life’s goals.

Working, Praying, Loving and sharing, Learning, Adventuring, etc. It’s kind of part of it. You decide how much portion you need at moments of your life. Same as when your self said, it’s overportion.

What kind of person of you?. Working for life or life for working?. If we don’t have money we cannot reach other points of lifes’s goals. But, i do realize money cannot fill empty space in my heart for missing other portion to fill my life.

When we’re still alive. There’ll be much debatable think in our head about ‘what i want exact?’. It’s takes time and also energy. But, i’m quite sure after find the answers. You’ll born as new person who know the answers of what and why in your life’s.

Write in a quite afternoon in the heart of city.   

Best Friend

When I’m in High School, I thought that best friend is the one who stay besides you both in happy and sad. And mostly people maybe also thought that.

Then time flies, I found that. I’m not close with all my best friend at that time again. Most of them still in Kendari, and I’m move into Semarang. In this last 8 years after graduation, maybe we just meet in 6 times. But everytime we meet, our heart blowing up in happy.

We’re not always making conversation by our social media account or by phone. But I always feel that we are in one red line. You can see what others can see in me. You save me in your memory like no others. And I do hope can do same as you.

The one who can get your heart is not who always makes conversation with you, stay besides you, create moment with you. Some people are special because they are. They can see something different inside you, makes you enjoy to be who you are, and makes you up when you down in their own way. At the end, its not about quantity but quality.

For Ati, Kiki, Yana, Siska, Imun, Hetty, Nining, Marlin, Nunung, Jety, Michan, Rara, Fika, Yaya, Lisa, Evi, Insan. Who ever being great friend in my high school memory. Thank you so much. May Allah save you All in good and happy life.

Your Partner in Crime ♡

image Kiki and Me at Juanda Train Station (15 October 2015)



Now, it one day left after my birth day. 11 10 1989. I’m 26 y’o right now. It is really big surprise from Allah. Remind that started from 2011 till end of 2013, I’m trapped in long sick journey.

I’m clearly remember how desperate me at that time. I had no life purpose, no hope, desperate. Even I can’t imagine that Allah give me chance to go this far.

I remember, near into my graduate time. I said, even i’m chemical engineer. It must be hard for me to find some job related to mu specialities. Because i have long sick record. Than i said to my Mom, maybe i’ll looking for some general graduated position. Or just a not too tired job. I have no confidence with my self.

In April, i’m graduated. Together with my sister both as Chemical Engineer. Self learning about process base design at home and still looking for suitable job. I’ve accepted in 2 company before, but in shift working time. Which i think hard for me to accomplish it.

Then, Suddenly when i accompany my sister for interview at October 2014. Management team of that company calling me to do express interview. And i’m accept to fill position as technical representative and marketing engineer.

Actually i’m thinking that i have no potential to fill that position. I mean i have to build relation with costumer, fullfil costumer request for quotation, meeting for introduce and price negotiation. It is all really new thing for me. I get speciality to reach oil and gas range and also industrial range.

It was so different, with a job journey that i’m request to God. An easy and not too tired job. I spend time till morning to prepared and submitted tender document, going into any location in indonesia so far needed in one day (going in morning, get back at night), crazy working hour and also big pressure.

But, i’m really surprising how God then change my life with this chance. Desperate change into hope, unconfident change into i’ll try, impossible change into possible.

So, this year was so special. It giving sign that God have give me a new life again. So, i should grab this chance. To life better, accepted life lesson, and thankful for everything that i had.

I ever feel that i had nothing, till i found that mean is just come by God.

Happy birthday to my self….
Thankful ya Allah…

Ya Allah biha… Ya Allah bi-husnil khatimah… Aamiin

Life Lesson


It’s been a long time not posted anything here. I will start to share about my job.

I’m working in consultant and construction range. It’s dominated by man. I’ve double position here. As engineer and marketing engineer. It’s not a proud thing when you have double job. It just means that you’re spend more long time for work. I have a long hour work, with so much pressure.

So, why i need to write this, or why do you need to read this?. Hehehe…just read this. Maybe you’ll find something. One thing that i really conscious when now i life by myself is… ‘there’s no an easy way to keep life in right way, everything need an effort’

Maybe i got an independent syndrome. It was phase on your life. When your parents not supporting you financially, let you to get your life decision, and feel how to survive in your life. First, it feel so hard, indeed. When i’m in college, i do some side job. But it feel so different when you really have to work for supporting your life. You’re become more responsibility with your own life, manage your healthy & money, and thinking far before act. I feel a big different.

But in another, to keep supporting my life i’ve to survive in ‘nature selection’ on my job. I need to give all of my effort and being adapted in new environment. ‘When you can adapted, you’ll survive’. Working in man domination not means that you’ll be like a princess. There’s no different. In office when you get job, you’re same. Finish it as it target, no matter how much time that you’ve spend in office. In site, if you have to climb just climb. Or, when you’ve to suddenly going into remote area by yourself, just go. Beside that, i realize one think ‘when people have chance to giving job to another, they’ll do it’. I don’t know it just my feeling or maybe it just happen in here. If there’s woman, man have preference to giving their job to woman by many reason. Is it because man in mostly of Indonesia cultural having more high position than woman? and sometimes it makes you have to take a deep breath.

I even tells my mom that, thank you for giving and supporting me to get college, to learn much, to get far from you. All of that lesson is so much precious. But, after so far… in my office man domination is hurt. Even you get education, it doesn’t mean you have mean.

With all of this circumstances, i realize that adaptation is not just about acceptance but it also about your self manage. Manage of your mind and ego. Acceptance have a direct correlation with self manage. And self manage have a direct correlation with faith to God. When you get low or high both in ego and mind, remain of God is a bounce to get consciousness.

At the end… even we’ve to try hard, full of roller coaster feeling. Remind your purpose, never stop. In life, the only real stop is die.


Bekasi, 21092015

Lubang di Hati (Kerinduan)

Merindukan momen bisa melaksanakan ibadah di malam-malam ramadhan dengan baik.
Mengerti makna kesyukuran saat tiba di rumah pukul 18.30.
Bersyukur atas fisik yang sehat untuk berdiri menghadapNya.
Bersyukur untuk batin yang siap bertemu denganNya.

Saat waktu dalam hidup terenggut oleh pekerjaan kantor dan jalanan yang macet.
Pergi saat matahari hendak terbit dan pulang saat telah terbenam.
Manusia pencari hidup di ibukota bertanya, sampai kapan?. Seberapa berharganya ini?.
Satu bulan terasa cepat, tergerus kesibukan.

Ramadhan hendak berlalu, ada anak manusia yang sedih dan meratap mengapa begitu cepat.
Ramadhan tahun depan belum tentu sampai baginya, telah dirasainya ia merugi.
Betapa ia rindu… sekaligus merugi. Mengejar dunia tiada habis, keridhaanNya terasa jauh.
Lebih baik sesal daripada mati rasa.

Masih berharap di sisa waktu akhir ini bisa mengejar kemesraan dengan Tuhan.
Menghadap dengan siap.
Bersujud dengan sungguh.
Berdoa dengan tulus.
Mencari RidhaNya.

Izinkan… Aamiin