It’s been three days, living with spasmocute attack and Rino (my rhinoceros doll) beside on me. It’s been three days i just can sleep on my bed under warm blanket. sleeping for few hours and get dreaming, when spasmocute beside me i’m always getting bad dream about many thing.
I’m trying hard for remembering what happening before three days ago. What i’m doing at that time (is it too much or not), kind of food i’m eat, what i’m thingking about (is there something which getting me on high stressed level). but i can’t remembering it. i try to thingking deeply, try harder, being silent for a while. it seems i did too much activity, getting stressed for final project, less rest, and uncontrolled food intake.
It’s mean for about one week i should have to get ready taking full rest. why?. because i have no power even for sitting down. when i’m doing some activity about two hours, i should have to getting rest for two till three hours. like princess who was cursed by a witch, “sleeping beauty” :-) , i get sleep for more than 12 hour a day in this three days.
There’s always unready feeling to live with this special thing. i’m try to remembering what’ve i do at past time to solving condition like this but i can’t remembering it. short loss memory syndrome was part of it. sorry for many special memory which i create with some person that i’ve already forget. it was out of my controlled.
Then i decided to make some note for my self. about what kind of thing i did when special thing attack comes beside me. I rearrange my food intake, balancing protein, fat, carbohydrate intake. getting some calcium tablet and also vitamin. I let go of all thoughts about final project, bad things, bad memory, or anything which bring me to negative minded. smile more often, while convincing myself, that everything gonna be okay. I’m in good condition and i can solve this. like a while ago.
I’m hearing my favorite song. Close my eyes. When i still can’t sleep comfy i get sedative and hearing ‘Yasin’. Sometimes i’m getting crying, but i won’t let my self did it for long. It’s better accepted, whatever will be happening next i should have to be more strong than this.
Peeling skin due to allergies, severe headache, a very weak body, i will enjoy it all. God, keep and strengthen me. I will try to living better next. sometimes fun and solid activity makes us forget to keep ourself. so that, God rewarded us sickness as a gift. :-D